Thirteen Reasons Why Rachel Berry Killed Herself
by Gertthesquirt101
Summary: Rachel Berry put a gun to her head one month ago. One day, Finn Hudson finds a package addressed to him. Thirteen tapes reside within. These are the Thirteen Reasons Why Rachel Berry Killed Herself.
1. Chapter 1 Quinn Fabray

**A/N I know these are usually boring and no one reads these, but please read on.**

**I have not read 13 Reasons Why. This story is a spin-off of it, but I have not read it yet. I only know the gist of the story. So if there are things in here that are so far off that it's not even funny, I apologize. This is just an idea that has stuck with me for a long time, and now I'm finally writing it down.**

**So enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

**Quinn Fabray**

Finn walked home from school on a windy autumn day. He kept his head down, knowing that there were people staring at him in the park that he had to cross through in order to get home. You see, people felt bad for him, and he hated seeing pity on their faces. Pity for him.

Rachel Berry had put a gun to her head exactly one month ago. Rachel and Finn had been together at the time and she seemed happy most of the time...he never understood why she killed herself.

The police had confirmed it suicide and the gun belonged to one of her dads.

As Finn was walking up to his front door, he noticed the cars were gone. His mom and Burt were probably still at work. Kurt's Moped was gone, he was probably out with Blaine again.

Finn walked up the front steps and got out his key to open the door. He suddenly tripped over something in front of the door. He didn't fall, but he quickly regained his balance.

At the front of the door Was a brown package, Finn picked it up, not looking at who it was for. Probably Burt, he was always getting packages.

Finn unlocked the door and walked in, setting the package down on the table. He opened the fridge and found a roll of raw cookie dough, he tore away the wrapper and started to eat it like a carrot.

Finn set his backpack down and opened his Biology book. He found himself stealing looks at the package that was a foot away from him. Finn finally gave into his wants of looking at it, and pulled it toward himself.

He read aloud:

"Finn Hudson  
>26 Feathers Chapel Rd.<br>Limo, Ohio."

There was no return address.

Finn was excited, he had never gotten a package, unless you count all that crap that he always ordered that was in the middle of comic books. That stuff never worked, and if it did, it didn't last long.

He tore at the brown paper and out fell tapes. He looked at them confused, he had not seen a cassette tape or a tape player in years. Finn walked into his mom and Burt's room and looked in her closet. He knew that she used to have one.

He finally found it and went back to the table. Finn quickly counted up the tapes; there were 13.

He noticed that each of them had numbers on them. The numbers one through thirteen. Finn found the one that was labeled with a one and popped it in the tape player. He pressed Play.

"Hi Finn. Do you remember me? You might, or you might've just tried to forget about me."

Finn's Eyes widened. It was Rachel's voice! He was so confused. How did these tapes get here? what is this? Is he being Punk'd? Is it some sick joke? He quickly regained himself as she kept talking.

"A while ago, that would've been hard to forget me. If I were gone I know that Glee Club would've been empty without my voice. But, I bet a quarter of the students at McKinley High are just now realizing that I'm gone. The other quarter still don't know I'm dead, and that last half? They don't give a rat's crap. Except for you Finn. I know that even though you might've hated me...you still cared. I could tell the last time I saw you. What you said and the way you looked at me, Finn I could tell you cared."

Finn was incredibly confused, but he kept listening.

"Anyway, Finn, right before I killed myself I made these tapes for you. I was originally going to give each tape to the person it was dedicated to, but I figured they did not need an explanation. If anyone, you deserve these tapes. And not as a punishment, but because out of anyone, you deserve to know. Did I just repeat myself? I did write all of this down, but..."

Finn had a shadow of a smile on his face. Only she would write down what she had to say for something like this. Rachel even wrote down what she was going to say in case she got the message machine when She used to call people.

"Anyway, Finn, each one of these tapes is a reason why I killed myself. Finn Hudson, you are one of them."

What little smile was on Finn's face fell at that moment. He would've never thought that he was a reason why Rachel Berry had killed herself.

"Reason One why I killed myself. Quinn Fabray. Quinn never did like me, I always thought that it was because I loved you Finn, because I was annoying, because I had a better voice then her. Don't get me wrong, she was good, and not meaning to sound arrogant, but I was better then her. Then one day, I found out why she really hated me."

Suddenly the front door opened and Kurt and Blaine stumbled in. Finn pressed pause. Blaine whispered something into Kurt's ear and Kurt giggled. Then he looked up and saw Finn staring at them, confused.

"Oh, we didn't know that you were in here."

Blaine looked over Kurt's shoulder and saw all the tapes. He took off his pink sunglasses, "Hey, what's that?"

"Nothin'." Finn said, pushing them away.

"Nothin' my butt-crack."

Kurt threw back his head and laughed. Finn swallowed hard, luckily they didn't press anymore and went up into Kurt's room.

Finn picked up the tapes, tape recorder, and walked over to his room to finish the first tape. He sat on his bed and pressed play.

"The reason why Quinn hated me was because deep down, she knew that you loved me, Finn. She knew it and it tore her apart. She couldn't take it, seeing you secretly steal looks at me...she hated it. The day after you broke up with her after losing Nationals, she saw you kissing me in the library. From then on, I know she promised herself that she would make my life a living nightmare. And that she did.

"Finn, do you remember the end of school dance? I do. Well, you and I were dancing and you started to kiss me. I kissed you back and then one of the football players came by and ripped my dress down, revealing my pink dragonfly briefs. I had been on my period that day, and everyone could notice. My face burned and as I ran out to the ladies' room, I saw Quinn's smirk. A smirk that I would be seeing a lot of. She had known that I was on it that day because after decorating the gym for the dance, I was complaining that I had ran out of tampons."

Finn's face burned, not only out of embarrassment at the words like 'tampons'; but because he did remember that day. He remembered the laughs, Quinn's smirk, everything. And he especially remembered not sticking up for her.

"From then on I tried to avoid her. But Finn, do you know how hard it is? You just can't avoid a person, especially one that's out to destroy your life. Anyway, after that, Quinn was the person who started the We Hate Rachel Berry Petition."

Finn bit his lip. He remembered that Petition, he didn't sign it of course, but he didn't put a stop to it either.

"Everyone signed that petition. Even people that didn't go to that school signed it. So people that didn't even know I existed had signed it. Jesse signed it." Rachel said quietly. She sighed and Finn's heart kept falling, he was so mad at himself for not putting a stop to that petition. If he had... He knew that they would've listened, maybe in a way he could've prevented her death.

"So Quinn Fabray is one reason why I killed myself."

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><p><strong>:D so... Do you like it? Should I continue it, or shut it down? Gimme your thoughts on the story and I will update soon!<strong>  
><strong>-Gert<strong>


	2. Chapter 2 Blaine Anderson

**Thank you all so much for the reviews and support! I love you all :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Thirteen Reasons Why (the book), or Rachel (or her voice, sadly).**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>  
><strong>Blaine Anderson<strong>

Finn stopped the tape and took it out. He found an old shoebox in his closet and set all the tapes and tape player in there. He hid the box under his mattress and took a deep breath. He really contemplated on wether or not he should finish the tapes. Did he really want to know the whole story? He decided to do some homework to get his mind off of everything.

"Finn! Come down to eat!" his mom called from the kitchen.

Finn sat down at the table and saw that Blaine and Kurt were already sitting down. He couldn't look at them, what if one or even both of them were a reason why Rachel killed herself? That was it. He had to find out the rest of the story.

"Tunafish salad. I know you love it boys." his mom set a plate of it in front of everyone.

"Where's dad?" Kurt asked.

"He'll be late. Eat up! Blaine, do you like tuna?"

"Um, yeah I guess."

Kurt looked over at Blaine. "I love you." he said with a smile. Finn looked at them with a face half full of sadness, the other disgust.

"Can I take this up to my room?" he asked.

Finn's mother sighed. "Burt, this ones yours."

Burt set his napkin down, And answered Finn, "I don't see why not." as Finn was walking out of the kitchen to go up to his room, he heard them talking.

"Carole, I don't have a problem with him eating in his room. After losing Rachel, it's completely understandable." Burt said in a hushed tone.

"Burt! I get that, but he needs to get over her. She's gone, never coming back. He needs to become  
>Part of the family, each day he becomes more and more isolated from us."<p>

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><p>Finn sat on his bed and lifted the mattress up to retrieve the tapes. He found a pair of headphones that could be put on the side of the tape player. He hooked everything up and slid Tape 2 in.<p>

"Hey Finn. It's Rachel, I mean, of course you know this. But anyway, this is tape 2. Blaine Anderson is the second reason why I killed myself."

Finn bit Down on his lip. He hoped that whatever Blaine had done, it wasn't too much to the point where he would hurt the guy.

"Blaine was a sweetie. He really was, which is why it makes what he did, hard to believe. One day, I was walking home from school and Kurt caught up to me. Kurt and I had both auditioned for the lead in the school play, which was Wicked. Even though the role of Elphaba was originally played by a women, the Drama teacher said that he would allow a boy to do it. Only if he was good enough of course. Long story short... I got the role of Elphaba. Anyway, Kurt kept harassing me about it. Saying I was a homophobe for not giving up the role to a gay kid. Saying that he did better, that I didn't deserve this."

"I just ignored him. Brittany, Santana, and Quinn had been talking about how I didn't deserve it in school that day. I had heard it all. But Kurt kept going on and on about it. I really didn't care. In the past month, this play was the only good thing that was happening. I needed this lead. Finally, worse had come to worse. He slapped me. It wasn't hard and I hardly felt it, but it was still a slap."

" 'What was that for?' I asked."

" 'You do not know what I've had to go through. All the bullying and everything... It just isn't fair! I deserve this role!' he yelled, slapping me again, this time harder."

Finn swallowed and pulled his hands into fists. That stupid son of a-

"Finally I had had enough. I hit him. And Finn... I'm sorry to say, but I hit him hard. It knocked him back and then I kicked his legs, yelling that he better not ever slap me again. Then I resumed walking home."

"School the next day was awkward. Only a handful of people knew about me hitting Kurt. I felt bad about it, but I wasn't humble enough to go apologize."

"Anyway, I was walking home from school and then Blaine came out of nowhere. He told me that that night, him and Kurt had gone out. He questioned Kurt about the split lip that I had given him. He told Blaine where it came from. Blaine approached me and got closer and closer. I should have ran, I really should have."

Finn started to tremble, scared.

"Blaine came up to me and I started to back up. I backed up to far and soon, I was up against a shady tree. Big mistake. I swallowed hard and looked up at him, terrified. Oh Finn, you should have seen the fire that burned in his eyes. He raised his fist and punched me right in the middle of my face. I felt my nose break. I started to slide down the tree, but he pulled me back up by my hair. He resumed punching me, saying: 'Dont. Ever. Hit. My. Boyfriend. Again.' in between each punch."

"I tried to cry out or scream, but he threatened to do worse if I even thought about it. There was nothing I could do Finn."

Finn could hear the hurt in her voice. She sounded like she was crying. He gripped the tape player so hard, he wouldn't've been surprised if he had broken it. It was taking everything he had not to go downstairs and beat the crap out of Blaine.

"So after he was finished breaking my nose, splitting my lip in many different places, blacking both my eyes, and hitting my head against the tree until it bled... He let go of my hair and walked off. I slumped down into a ball and cried."

"Finn... I think you know the rest. Remember how my dad was framed for it?"

Finn remembered that. Not the whole beating thing, but he remembered how at school, the guidance counselor, Ms. Pillsbury, called The police after seeing Rachel all beaten up. Rachel had arrived to school early to use the computers. The police came and took Rachel home before anyone else got to school. But word traveled fast. The police decided that one of her dads, Lenny, had beaten her. He had a record at the police department for getting into a drunken fistfight a couple months before this thing with Rachel happened. He was the only suspect for it, and was locked up in jail for a while.

"So yes. Blaine Anderson was the one who had beaten me up. Blaine Anderson is one of the reasons why I killed myself."

The tape stopped.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you all soooo much for the awesome support! Sorry I haven't updated in FOREVER! I was at a conference with my church for a while and so... Yeah. That's why, haha.**

**One teeny tiny question. Should I do all of Rachel's talking in **_Italics? _**Would you rather it be like this:**

"Blaine came up to me and I started to back up. I backed up to far and soon, I was ip against a shady tree. Big mistake. I swallowed hard and looked up at him, terrified. Oh Finn, you should have seen the fire that burned in his eyes. He raised his fist and punched me right in the middle of my face. I felt my nose break. I started to slide down the tree, but he pulled me back up by my hair. He resumed punching me, saying: 'Dont. Ever. Hit. My. Boyfriend. Again.' in between each punch."

**Or like this:**

_"Blaine came up to me and I started to back up. I backed up to far and soon, I was ip against a shady tree. Big mistake. I swallowed hard and looked up at him, terrified. Oh Finn, you should have seen the fire that burned in his eyes. He raised his fist and punched me right in the middle of my face. I felt my nose break. I started to slide down the tree, but he pulled me back up by my hair. He resumed punching me, saying: 'Dont. Ever. Hit. My. Boyfriend. Again.' in between each punch."_

**Lemme know, Italics, or no. **

**shout out to Games in All... Thank you so much for that review. You almost made me cry :,).**

**Review!**


	3. Chapter 3 Jesse St James

**Chapter Three**  
><strong>Jesse St. James<strong>

Finn pulled the headphones out of the tape player and got up to open his door. He was ready to bash Blaine's head in. Right when the door was opened, Rachel's voice suddenly filled the room.

"Finn. I know you might not like these stories... But please don't do anything rash." the tape stopped playing then.

Finn swallowed hard as he heard his family and Blaine laughing around the table. Kurt had told them something funny. Finn shook his head and slammed his door. He slid down the door, his head in his hands. Tears spilled out of his eyes. How could I have not known all of this? How did I not figure it out? he thought to himself.

After a minute or so, he sat back on his bed and set Tape 3 in, along with the headphones.

"Finn, I hope you caught my little side note in the last one. I really hope you're not getting to mad about all of this. Remember, I'm dead. No matter you do, or what happens... Nothing can be fixed. Any way, let's get on with this tape. The third reason why I killed myself, was because of Jesse."

Someone suddenly knocked on Finn's door. He pressed pause and opened it. It was Blaine.

"Hey, the Glee club is coming over to play a softball game. It's kind of a good luck thing they started. You're in, right?"

Finn looked Blaine over and let out the breath he front know be was holding. He unclenched his fist and simply shook his head, shutting the door.

"Okay! See ya later then!" Blaine called from behind the door. Finn shook his head and put the headphones back in.

"Do you remember the big party at Brittany's near the end of school? It was the biggest party I had ever been too. You brought me because Brittany insisted that it was a prom. I'm still not so sure what is was to tell you the truth. But anyway, I saw Jesse there and he waved. I smiled, but never talked to him. Finn, you went off with your friends, and I wasn't sure where I should go. By that time, Quinn had everyone hating on me. I sort of just stood in the corner, watching everyone dirty dancing. Suddenly, Jesse came up to me. He asked me to dance, and I said yes. I really didn't feel like I was in a right place at the time. He started to grind up behind me and I turned around and asked him to stop. He nodded and we just danced normally. I kept looking out for you, but I couldn't find you. I later found out where you were."

Finn winced at those harsh words. He remembered what he had been doing that night too... Nothing he was proud off.

"Well, a little later Jesse and I got some drinks. He had more to drink then I did, I noticed. During one dance, I noticed him look over my shoulder and nod twice.

"'What?' I had asked. He didn't answer. Suddenly, I felt two pairs of strong hands grab me. One grabbed my hands and put them behind my back. Another put one hand on my mouth and another below my butt, sweeping me up off my feet. But not in a good way. Jesse nodded and told them to take me upstairs, to the first room on the right. I was screaming and trying to get someones attention. The party was so wild by then, no one could see me, or hear me."

Finn sat back and gripped the tape player.

"The two guys set me down on a bed. I recognized them from Vocal Adrenaline. Once they left and Jesse walked over to me and pushed the hair out of my eyes. That's when the realization of what was going on set it. I screamed and he covered my mouth after slapping me. He told me that if I screamed again, he'd do worse. Finn, I was so scared. I started to cry and ask him not to do anything. He ignored me and lightly laid me down on the bed, kissing me. Before I knew it, our clothes were off and I was silently crying as he took my virginity."

Finn stopped the tape. He picked up the closest thing next to him (which happened to be his Biology book), and threw it across the room. He pulled at his face, so mad at himself. If he had just stayed with her, nothing like that would have happened. He pounded on his wall next to his bed and cursed.

There was a knock at his door and his mom came in. "Finn? What in the..." she looked around and saw the dents in the wall. "What is going on?"

Finn quickly put the tape player under his sheets. "Nothing mom. Just... Biology is confusing. I need a good grade to graduate. Not so sure I'll get it." he mumbled, not meeting her eyes.

"Just work hard honey. And no more punching the walls, okay?" she didn't look like she believed him, but walked out anyway.

Finn swallowed down and then put the headphones back in.

Rachel's voice shook. "A-after he was finished, he got his clothes on and then kissed me before leaving with a 'Dont tell anyone or I will find you.' he pulled back and smiled. I grimaced and curled up into a small ball on the bed. After he left, I got myself dressed. I did not feel good, I actually thought that I was going to throw up. I just felt like a nasty person. I was ready to leave after that, I wanted to find you and just leave. I walked out of the room and Santana was there, kissing on some guy. She looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. I turned around and walked back downstairs. I tried to find you, Finn, but you were no where to be found. I left my phone at home, So I sat off on the side and watched everyone else. Jesse was dancing with other people now, but kept sneaking peeks over at me. I never met his eyes. When you didn't come out for another half hour, I took my shoes off and walked home. I got home, feeling dirty and my feet bloody from walking home. One of my dads were in jail from being framed for something that Blaine did. I had been r-raped by my old boyfriend and I had had enough. I thought of committing suicide that night, but I didn't, I thought that there was more for me here. I was so wrong."

Finn looked over at the clock. It read 9:32. He continued listening.

"Jesse raped me. Jesse St. James is one of thee reasons why I killed myself."

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><p><strong>D: that was pretty hard for me to write, actually i did not want to go into detail, but I hope you guys got the same gut-wrenching feeling.<strong>

**About the last chapter (where Blaine hit Rachel), some people did not get why he would do something like that. Okay, you guys have to remember that at this time, everyone hates Rachel. Anyone that was nice before, is just plain mean to her now. Except for Finn... Well, I mean, he does/did mess up, but you get what I mean.**

**Shout out to... faithfulyfinchelforever. Your review was amazing. It was short, but it's amazing how my story can have so much impact on you that would wanna punch him. It's cool :)**

**One more thing... I frickin' love you all. You guys are just so cool! Thanks so much :)**  
><strong>-Gert<strong>

**P.s. Just so y'all know, I will try to update this story every Tuesday. I have two other stories that I write, and they are updated on other days too.**


	4. Chapter 4 Santana Lopez

**Chapter Four**  
><strong>Santana Lopez<strong>

"Finn, please do not do anything rash, like I've said before. You know that whatever you could do to Jesse, it would not bring any justice. Or to anyone for that matter. I love you Finn, and you could get hurt. Please do not go looking for anyone."

Finn bit down in his lip and took the tape out. He set in tape Four.

"I hope that as you are listening to this, you have not done something you now regret. I do love you Finn and I hope that you are not hearing this tape from Juvie or six weeks from the time these tapes got to your house. Okay. So on with tape four. Santana Lopez is one of the reasons why I killed myself.

"After… after what happened with Jesse, he got up and pulled his clothes on. He left the room, leaving me to myself. I curled up and then suddenly got up, it became all real just then. What he had done, that is. I do not want to say the ugly word. Anyway, I got up off from the bed and pulled my clothes close to me. There was a bathroom and I cleaned myself up in there. Tears streamed down my face when I saw the blood trickling down my leg."

Finn clenched his fist together so that his nails dug deep into his palms.

"After I got dressed, I walked out of the room. I looked to my right of the hallway and saw Santana. She was kissing on a football player, but her eyes were on me. Do remember Finn? She and Jesse were dating at that time. I know, it was crazy when I heard it, but they were."

Finn remembered.

"She gave me the evil eye, but then turned back and continued kissing the guy. That next day at school, I walked down the main hallway to my locker, where she was waiting for me.

"'Hi.' I had said to her. She got right to business. She demanded to know why I had gone around and 'screwed' with her boyfriend. She said that she had seen him coming out of that room last night, and that I had followed suit minutes late. I told her that it was not my fault at all, that he had forced me. She said that that's not the story that Jesse had told her. She told me that he had said that I was trying to seduce him. I just shook my head, I did not need that. I still felt sick from the other night, my dad had made me come to school that day, and I didn't tell him what had happened. In fact, I didn't tell anyone. I scooted past Santana and opened my locker. She walked off.

"Once I had gotten to my 2nd period class that day, everyone was staring and whispering even more now. I sat down and two girls that I didn't know had come up to me and demanded to know how I became such a slut overnight. I had no idea what they were talking about. They reminded me about Jesse, and I said that it wasn't my choice what had happened between the both of us. It was completely his doing. They didn't believe me. After second period, people threw paper wads and me, yelling out, "SLUT!" and its diversities. I ran to the bathroom, crying. I sat on the toilet and cried, not coming out until third period was over. As I stood up, I saw that the words, "Rachel Berry is an upper class SLUT," were already written on the stall. I wondered how this story had gotten around so fast. Then I remembered the little confutation I had with Santana earlier.

I walked out of the bathroom and "Slut" was still being thrown at me. I tried to ignore them. People asked questions like, "How was it to screw Jesse?" I ignored them. It took all that I had to just ignore and not run out of school and straight home. I remembered that you, Finn, were in my next class and so I stayed, hoping that you would… well, I know this sounds lame, but… Protect me."

Finn could hear the smile in her voice. He knew that it probably wasn't big at all, but it might have been the only smile that she had ever smiled in a long time.

"I walked to class… and Finn, what I saw will never leave me until the day I die. You and Santana. Making out. In the corner of the classroom. Her leg on yours and… I'm sorry to say that you looked like you were enjoying it. I almost passed out from everything that had happened that day. The taunts, worse then anything that I had ever dealt with. The comments, and then, you making out with Santana Lopez. As I ran out of that room I saw her looked over at me and smile. I know that it was payback or whatever, but what I hated was that you looked like you enjoyed it. I ran home that day."

Finn did remember that. And he was so sorry for remembering how much he had enjoyed it. It pained him to admit that in his head.

"The next two weeks, that's all that it was. You and I were still together, and I was too embarrassed to bring up whatever had happened to you and Santana. The rumours still went around and people still yelled out "Slut" and other words at me. I tried to ignore them..." she paused and then took a deep breath. "And it seemed that you did too, Finn.

"Santana Lopez is one of the reasons why I killed myself. She spread a rumour that I had seduced Jesse St. James in to having sex with me."

The tape ended with a click.

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><p><strong>Alright. Are you guys ready for hours long string of excuses on why I'm like… three weeks late on this? No, I'll only give you guys like… three, lol, one for each week . Okay, so I started school on Tuesday, I am officially a High Schooler! Whoo-hoo! I'm a Freshie :D. Okay, so last week I went to Gatlinburg (Great place btw, if you live in the South, I highly recommend it), with no wi-fi or computer service. And then last, last week, I had a HUGE writer's block. AND… I am no longer writing this and my other stories on my iPod! Yay! A real computer now :P. My dad is going off to Law School this Sunday and so he won't be on this computer anymore, I can officially write like a real person now :P.<strong>

**Okay, I know that the beginning of the chapter is a little out of place with the other. But no, the beginning is just an add on to the last chapter. I hope that no one was confused :D**

**Also, just in case any of you haven't noticed…. I didn't make Santana gay in this story.**

**MORE EXCITING NEWS! I made myself a facebook fan page. Now, I didn't do it cuz I am big-headed, or arrogant. Its simply for you guys so that you know when I'll be updating. If you just log on and check it out, you will get the latest news for all of my books! I'll give sneak peeks, and others things to you guys :D. You guys deserve it :). Here is the link: .com/pages/Gertthesquirt101/254774511207932?sk=wall **

**Now, Idk if the link will work, but if not, just go to facebook and type: Gertthsquirt101 into the search bar, and you'll find it! Like it if you have a facebook! :)**

**REVIEW! Please :D**


	5. Chapter 5 Sam Evans

**Chapter Five**

**Sam Evans**

Finn looked over at his alarm clock. It read 12:34. He looked over at the tapes and contemplated on whether or not to play the rest of them. The sounds of Blaine and Kurt talking together in the room next to him for some reason pained him. As mad as he was at the two for what they did, they were happy. Happier then he said he'd ever be after Rachel killed herself. Finn shook himself from the pre-sleep he was feeling that came over him. He pulled Tape 4 out and switched it with tape 5.

"Tape number five is about Sam Evans. Now, Finn, let me get this straight. Sam never hurt me. But, I felt the urge to add him to these tapes."

"The day I saw you and Santana… m-making out, I ran home. As I was running home, I heard someone call out my name. It was Sam. I stopped, wiped a few tears away, and then turned to see him."

"'Hey,' he said. 'What's the matter?' Finn, those simple little words meant everything to me. It made me think that someone cared. Someone cared about how I felt. He walked up to me and put his arm around my shoulder. I cried silent tears, but never told him anything. He just awkwardly stood there, rubbing my shoulder with his hand that was draped over it.

"'Rachel, What's going on?' he asked, utterly confused.

"'Everybody hates me.' I said quietly.

"' What? Nuh-uh, sure you're annoying, but everyone loves you deep down. I know it; you're one of the reasons why we win all those glee club competitions.'

"'Sam, I don't think you've noticed what going on lately with glee club.'

"'Well, even if they think you've weird or whatever, I think you're cool. You have a great voice Rachel. Hey, maybe you could sing a song, ya know, in glee club? Singing is you're thing, right? Well just sing your heart out.'"

"Finn, those words meant everything to me. He was being the nicest person to me at that time. So, that next day, I had prepared a song to sing in front of the glee club.

"'Mr. Shue, if I may, I have a song prepared to sing in front of you guys.' I had raised my hand and said that next day. "But, if it would be okay, I would like to perform in the auditorium.' Mr. Shue nodded and we made our way over there.

"I walked up to that stage, and sang a song I had sung before, at prom."

Finn remembered that song, her voice had been haunting and beautiful, even more so the second time she sung it.

_"No, I can't take one more step towards you_  
><em>'Cause all that's waiting is regret<em>  
><em>Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore<em>  
><em>You lost the love I loved the most<em>

_I learned to live, half alive_  
><em>And now you want me one more time<em>

_And who do you think you are?_  
><em>Runnin' 'round leaving scars"<em>

Rachel started to sing, and then paused. "Finn, I remember that's all you heard. Because right at that part…. Santana took you by the arm, and you two went off into the backstage of the stage. Possibly, a closet? I don't know. I would sing this song for you now, but I highly do not think that you deserve it."

Finn's hands trembled.

"After I was finished, I nodded sadly, noticing that you still weren't there. I stopped caring at that point. I started to walk off that stage, when something hit me across the head. I turned and saw that Quinn had thrown a tomato at me. It was a little odd, as I think of it now, I never thought of how she got it, but I do now. I guess she had given everyone tomatoes, and I was suddenly bombarded with them as I ran out of the room. I heard Mr. Shue yelling, and I even heard Sam's voice, telling them to stop. But I just kept running. I ran straight to the bathroom and washed off what tomatoes I could. They were old tomatoes, and that been sitting out in the sun for what smelled like ages. I reeked."

"When I had finally finished cleaning off, I walked out, only for Karofskey and Puck to suddenly slushy me. Apparently now, the slushies weren't for the glee kids now… they were only for me. Quinn had started it.

"I looked for you, Finn. But after a while, I stopped caring where you were. We were still together, but everyone knew you were fooling around with Santana. Everyone thought was hilarious, and they egged it on. I was miserable.

"So even though he never did anything to hurt me, Sam, I dedicate this tape to you. Finn, I wished for you to go to hell that day."

"One more thing before I go, Finn, you had my heart, and you crushed it. I learned to live, half alive, Finn. I did."

The tape stopped playing and Finn cried.

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><p><strong>So, so so so so so so soooo sorry for not updating in like….. 2 months? -.- I'm so sorry. School has gotten the better of me, and the fact that I'm failing Algebra….. well, that's not helping with the stress, either. So, hopefully you enjoyed this short chapter, and will review it? :) I love you guys, and hopefully no one will kill me in my sleep. :)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6 Mercedes Jones

**Chapter Six**

**Mercedes Jones**

Finn woke up to the sunshine pouring out his small window. He rubbed his face and sat up. The tapes were scattered all about his bed and he pulled his covers off of himself and over the tapes.

"Finn!" his mom called. "Come join the family for breakfast."

"I'll eat later," he said, standing up and starting to push the tapes into the shoebox.

The door burst open, and Finn threw the box under his covers.

"Finn, I want you to join the family now," his mom said, leaning into his room.

"Mom, I'm not hungry and I just woke up so I'm fine."

"Finn... Get down here now! I made a good breakfast that we all can enjoy, now come down here and join us. That's an order."

Finn didn't want to see Kurt, or even Blaine for that matter. All he really wanted to do was sneak out of the house and go talk to Sam.

"There's my brother!" Kurt sang out.

"Hey Finn," Blaine said.

"Do you ever leave?" was all Finn said to Blaine.

"Excuse me?" Blaine asked.

"Nothin'."

Finn put on his shoes and pulled his backpack over his shoulders. "Mom, I'm going to Sam's house." he called. Kurt and Blaine were snuggled together on the couch, watching My Fair Lady. Finn just left before his mother could answer.

As Finn walked, he got out the tape player he had in his backpack. Tape Six was already in.

"Reason Six why I killed myself, Mercedes Jones. After Sam came back with us, after we won Sectionals, he sang, The One That Got Away by Katy Perry, to Mercedes. Long story short, Mercedes broke up with her football boy and got back with Sam. This happened after I sang, "Jar of Hearts". That next day, Mercedes had pulled me aside at my locker.

'You had better leave my man alone, whore.'

'W-what?'

'Sam, is mine, and I don't know who you think you are if you think you can take him away from me.'

'I'm not trying to take him away from you! I just simply talk to him,' I argued.

'I don't want you to talk to him anymore, or I will take you to the carpet, slut-stuff. Oh, and Sam is not gonna talk to you either. I told him about you and Jesse.' Mercedes sneered.'

I wiped away a tear, and left school that day.

The next day, I waved at Sam in the hallway, but he just ignored me. I saw him later that day with Mercedes, he gave me a sad smile, but kept walking. Finn, he was the only person that talked to me. I don't know why you didn't, you were still my boyfriend but, it was Sam who was the only one that cared enough about me. He cared about me more than you did... Until Mercedes said that we couldn't talk anymore."

Finn stopped walking and looked up at where Sam was staying. He had finally reached his place. He stood behind a tree and finished listening to Tape Six before going up to Sam's door.

"Now Finn, I don't mean to make you feel guilty. You are not the main reason why I killed myself. But you are-"

The tape was suddenly cut off. Finn bit his lip and put it in his pocket. He walked up to Sam's door and knocked.

"Hey Finn!" Sam said, opening the door. "Come on in."

Finn stepped in and then hugged Sam.

"Whoa, dude, are you okay?" Sam asked, confused.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you..." Finn said, almost sobbing.

"What'd I do?" Sam asked.

Finn pulled back from the hug. "Rachel... Rachel, you were there for her when no one else was back when she was alive."

"Ohhh... yeah, um, yeah I guess. But how do you know about that?"

"I just know. And I want to thank you, Sam. I was so stupid... I now know that I could have prevented it in some way. Just, thank you for being there for her." Finn said, wiping his eyes.

"Hey, no problem man. And I'm sure that you were there, I mean you were her boyfriend at the time. But, wait... Wasn't she dating Jesse or something?"

Finn shook his head, "He took advantage of her. Whatever Mercedes told you about her was a lie."

"So.. He raped her?" Sam asked, his eyes wide. Finn nodded. "But Mercedes... so Mercedes lied to me?" Finn nodded.

"I don't know what she said to you, but that it the truth." Finn said. Sam sat down on his couch.

"Hey, I better go. Just, thank you so much Sam."

"No problem. See you at school tomorrow." Sam said as Finn walked out.

The weekend was almost over. It being noon on Sunday. Finn wanted to finished the tapes before school the next day.

On the way home he put in tape seven and stuck his earphones in. His ears were soon filled with Rachel's voice.

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><p><strong>Yay! My computer is finally working and I can now upload :P. There's a competition going on on my facebook fan page, so go check it out :). Review!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7 Artie Abrams

**Chapter Seven**  
><strong>Artie Abrams<strong>

"Hey Finn. So this is tape seven, and this one is dedicated to Artie. Do you remember... Remember what it was that Jesse did to me? Well, that was sort of like the top of the peak. Everything that happened before that, with Blaine and whatnot, led up to Jesse. Jesse was at the top of the snowy mountain and then after that, I just came rolling down, fast. With the whole "slut" thing that Santana started. Did you know that in the girls bathroom, there is a list in the second stall, etched in permanent market, it states the list of sluts that have ever gone to McKinley High. I'm on that list.

"But anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself. I was talking about everything leading up to Jesse, and how everything just slid down the hill after that. Artie was on the way to the bottom of that hill, which eventually led to my killing myself. That's what the bottom represents.

"Artie was the one that started the pregnancy rumors. I was not pregnant, Finn. I know that even you started to believe it, but I swear I wasn't. I had gained some weight yes, but that was only from stress-eating. Do you remember when Artie had gotten a hair sample from you somehow that one day? He came to school the next day, saying how he had gotten hair samples from both of us, and that the baby wasn't yours. I said, 'Artie! I'm not pregnant! Finn and I have never had s-sex!' But then he said that it was most definitely Jesse's baby. Jesse's baby. As if I would ever carry the devils spawn.

"I cried Finn, I did. I cried in the girls bathroom and that's when I noticed that my name was at the bottom of the "Sluts" list. I trashed that bathroom, I was so mad. I ripped the toilet paper out, unscrewed the sink handles, I even broke a mirror. I was so mad and upset.

"Artie then, started buying me baby supplies. At first it was just little rattles, but then he started bringing bags of diapers to my locker. Diapers and clothes. When he had brought me a car seat that was one of his little brothers, I snapped at him. I yelled at him, saying that I wasn't pregnant. That there's no way I could ever be pregnant. Artie just grinned and smirked up at me while I was in that rage. I wanted to slap that smirk off of his face. Thankfully, you came along Finn and pulled me away from him and outside the school. We sat on the front steps and I cried into your shoulder. Remember?"

Finn smiled. He remembered.

"That was the first act of kindness anyone had done for me for awhile. Thank you Finn."

The tape stopped.

Finn was able to pull his face into a smile for the first time since he got the tapes. He wasn't completely stupid and blind, at least.

* * *

><p>That night at dinner, Finn wolfed it down so that he could go upstairs and listen to tape eight.<p>

"Finn, your turn for dishes." his mom said once he stood up. "Wait here until everyone is done."

Finn sighed and sat back down. He anxiously drummed his fingers on his bouncing knee.

"Finn, why are you in such a hurry?" Kurt asked.

"Just ready to do homework." he mumbled.

"It's Saturday," Kurt reminded him.

"Let's talk about the elephant in the room." Burt said suddenly. "Rachel."

Finn swallowed hard.

"Finn, how are you coping with her death?" he asked bluntly. Carole gave him a look, but he ignored it.

"I, um, I guess I'm fine. I mean, I miss her of course."

"It sure didn't seem like it whenever you were macking on Santana's face." Kurt said low enough, only for Finn to hear. Finn clenched his hands into a fist.

"So, do you think that you're gonna ever date again, after Rachel?" Burt asked.

"Burt, I think that's enough."

"Carole, she has been dead long enough. We have just avoided the fact that she killed herself. I don't want Finn to get all depressed because he feels like he can't talk about it with any of us." he turned to face Finn. "My first wife died, as you know. I have been through something similar like this, I am here for you Finn."

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><p><strong>don't kill me! I know that it is extremely short, but there wasn't much I had planned for Artie. Review and tell if you hated it or loved it! :)<strong>


	8. Chapter 8 Tina CohanChang

**Chapter Eight**  
><strong>Tina Cohen-Chang<strong>

Finn fell asleep quickly after dinner. The next day was a school day and he was not ready to look at those people that had been mentioned in the tapes. He figured he would need a good night's sleep to get through the day.

Once he woke up, he pulled on some pants and then brushed his teeth. He walked downstairs and his mother hugged him and handed him a danish. He pulled his backpack over his shoulder and walked outside, not a word to anyone.

He got in his car and saw that he had 30 minutes before he had to get to school. He opened up his backpack and saw the tape player, headphones, and tape 8 he had put in there the night before.

The sun was slowly rising and it was starting to get warmer. It had been a pretty warm autumn for the most part, just a lot of wind.

Finn drove to a shady tree near the school and parked. He pulled tape 8 out and put it in the tape player.

"Hi Finn. So I'm glad that you have stuck with me this far. I just want you to know that I love you. I love you more than my dads, my Barbara collection, and my singing talent, all put together."

Finn blinked furiously.

"This tape is dedicated to Tina. Finn, do you remember the party at Mike's house in April? His parents were out on a business trip, and we were invited. You and I could be considered back together. You really weren't with Santana anymore, and nicer to me. Anyway, we went and no one had really bothered me for a week or so.

"The party got out of hand only after one hour. Over 100 people showed up and there was plenty of beer and liquor. People were dirty-dancing and going up into bedrooms. Mike and Tina were practically having sex on the kitchen table; they were so wasted.

"You got drunk pretty fast, Finn. You left me after awhile, and I just sat there, listening to my IPod. Tina came up to me and offered me a drink.

"'Oh, no thank you,' I had said. She demanded that I drink it and so I took it. I didn't want to seem like a prude, or weak. I was finally being accepted. Or so it seemed. So I took the shot. And then another and then another."

Finn tried to remember that night. He remembered arriving at the party, and then he was so drunk. He remembered something about... Santana? Did he hook up with her?

"I woke up the next day at noon. I didn't know where I was, or who the kid next to me was. 'Did... did I sleep with this guy?' I asked myself. I guessed not, because I was still dressed. I tried to stand up but then had to sit back down. Blood had rushed through my head and it was pounding. I tried again and stumbled. I shuffled out the door and realized I was still at Tina's house. I found my shoes on the table in the kitchen and saw Tina throwing red cups in a black garbage bag.

"'Wow.' was all she said. She smirked and then turned her back to me. I looked at her confused but then went looking for you. I had a massive headache and you were passed out of the couch with no shirt on. I lightly slapped your face and you woke up suddenly. I told you I wanted to go and so we both stumbled outside and into your car. It was a Saturday and you drove us to your house. You fell asleep once you got home and I checked my Facebook. One group had caught my attention. It had only been up for a couple of hours, but already had 87 followers or people that had liked it. It was called: 'Rachel Berry Is A Whore.'"

This was news to Finn. He had never heard of this Facebook group.

"There were pictures that I recognized from last night. I didn't recognize doing the things in the pictures but the girl in the pictures was me. I remembered all the drinks that Tina had given to me, they must have had something in them. Because I would have never done any of the things in the pictures. There were pictures of me grinding, grabbing boys's butts... And other parts. It was not me at all, it was the alcohol in my system, I swear. I looked again and over 100 people had liked it.

"I started crying when I saw the pictures. I cried even harder when I saw all the posts and comments. People from school wrote on it, people that I had never even seen a day in my life were posting. It was disgusting and I was sick of myself. I finally got a hold of myself and logged out. I had your password Finn, and I logged into your account. I did not want you to see any of this. You had been added to the group and I had you leave it and then blocked it. I never wanted you to see that. There was nothing I could do to get the group off of Facebook, but I just didn't want you to see it."

The tape stopped and Finn drew his fingers through his hair. He pulled his phone out and logged into Facebook. He bit his lip and he typed the dreaded words, "Rachel Berry Is A Whore", into the search bar. He un-blocked it and looked at all the dreadful things people were still saying about her, even after she was dead.

"I'm glad that slut is gone."

"Whoo-hoo! One less slut in this world."

"Now we can all sleep soundly, and not have to worry about our boyfriends being seduced by the whore."

There were many more, but Finn just logged out. He heard the bell ring from the school and was about to get out of the car, but then slammed his door and logged back into Facebook. He got back on the group and wrote:

You all are so mean. I can't believe anyone would ever do this. You all are the reason that Rachel Berry, my girlfriend, is dead. You all deserve to be dead. Not her. She was one of the nicest people I know. And sure, at times she could have been annoying, but that gives no reason to drive someone to their death. I know no one cares, but you all... Go screw yourselves. I can't even look at you all in the face anymore.

He posted it and the got out of the car, leaving the tapes.

* * *

><p>"Hey man, you alright?" It was Artie; he came up to Finn at his locker after First Period.<p>

Finn didn't respond.

"Dude, I saw the post on the group. I'm sorry, I thought you were apart of it and knew what was going on."

Finn turned around to face Artie. "Tell Rachel sorry. I don't give a crap about sorry anymore. Sorry does not bring her back."

He slammed his locker shut and walked off.

* * *

><p>Glee club that day was awkward. Everyone in the school was apart of the group and had seen what Finn posted at one time of the day or another.<p>

"Okay guys, subject this week is..."

Finn zoned out. He didn't care anymore; he didn't want to be here, amongst all these people that had something to do with Rachel's death.

"Hey Finn are you okay?" Blaine asked. "You're as white as a ghost." he stated.

Finn looked up at him without moving his head. He glared and then stood up and calmly walked out the door. The kids were dead silent when he started to punch the wall outside of the room. He pulled a string of profanities out of his mouth and then collapsed on the floor, tears in his eyes.

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><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoyed :). Review, if ya want. <strong>

**Also, to anyone else that follows my other stories, a new chapter of Pick Me Up When I Have Fallen will be up probably around 6 pm Eastern time.**

**Love you guys! Message me any question you may have :). I message back. **


	9. Chapter 9 Noah Puckerman

**Chapter Nine**

**Noah Puckerman**

After he hit the wall outside the glee club's door, Finn checked himself out, got in his vehicle, and drove to Lima Heights Park.

He turned his truck off and looked around; he could see memories at this park. He looked out at the swings and saw Rachel swinging with him pushing her from behind. He saw them going down the kiddie slide together. He saw him on top of the monkey bars, outstretching his hand to help her up. He saw her everywhere.

Finn pulled the tape player out and played tape Nine.

"Finn, this reason for why I killed myself is dedicated to none other than Puckerman.

"Puck was the one that got me hooked on weight loss pills and painkillers. I guess I could have blamed myself for this one, but I'm pretty sure he knew what he was doing.

"One day after school, Puck approached me at my locker. I looked up at him, and I knew I looked sick, hollow even. I would get home and just lay on my bed, never talking to anyone… never doing anything. When I looked up at Puck full in the face, he jumped and frowned.

"'Dang Berry, you look like this groundhog my mom's cat caught once. It was dead. Kind of like your face. I mean, you still have some pudge there… but good luck with trying to get rid of that, or any other fat for that matter.'

"I pushed past him and ran to the nearest bathroom. I locked myself into a stall and pulled out a compact mirror I had. I looked at my face. I took off my top and looked at the fat and skin that hung over the side of my skirt. I pulled and poked at my belly. I stepped out of my skirt and noticed how much my thighs squeezed together when my feet were pressed against one another. I looked at the fat that dripped from the bottom of my arm. I knew I was always on a chubby side of healthy, but I looked and felt fat. Someone had pointed it out and it finally stuck into me.

"That day at lunch I grabbed an apple and slowly cut it into bite-sized pieces. I ate them each, one by one, until it was gone. I was still starving. I remember, I was sitting next to you and was so tempted to reach over and grab a fry; just an innocent act that I used to always do. I suddenly looked up, feeling eyes on me. It was Puck. He had watched me eyeing your fries and he slowly shook his head.

"I took a deep breath through my nose and calmly stood up. I walked to the ladies room and held my hands on either side of the sink, looking at my fat self in the mirror. I bent my head down, a tear falling, and when I looked back up Puck was behind me, I could see his reflection in the mirror. I turned around.

"'You know what to do.' He said.

"'What?' I questioned.

"'Throw it up, love. Finn doesn't want a fatty on his arm.'

"'I-I don't know how to.'

"And then he proceeded to show me the best way to throw up the apple. I remembered back, a couple years ago when I tried to throw up because I wanted to be thin like Quinn. Ms. Pillsbury found me and I promised her I would never try that again. I broke that promise.

"Once the apple was up and out of my system, I turned to Puck and asked him why he cared.

"'Because you're fat,' was his only answer.

"Everyday after lunch for that week he would follow me into the bathroom to make sure I threw up. At the end of week he slipped me some weight loss pills.

"'What are these?'

"'Ephedrine pills, they help with weight loss. Take them as many as you think you need, but don't OD.'

"I reached up to hug him but he pushed my hands away, saying he doesn't want some whale to embrace him. He left the bathroom and I took a pill.

"Before every meal, I started taking a pill. Within a week I was hooked on those guys. I loved those pills. I stopped eating dinner with my dad, I always told them I was going out to eat with friends or that I ate before I came home. For breakfast, I had a pill. For lunch, I had a pill and an apple. I had a pill before I worked out and as soon as I woke up and got to school When I got home I would neglect my studies to work out. I had a treadmill and would run for hours, not paying attention to time or anything. All I wanted to do was get thin. Thin for you."

Finn sighed. If he realized what he could have done...

"I remember one instance when I went to the gym after school to use some of their machinery. I was on an exercise bike that was near the window in the front. Some kids from school walked by and saw me on it. They started jeering and laughing, pointing out my fat and how much farther I had to go. I got off the bike and they continued with their pointing.

"'Look at the fatty!'

"'That's right fat stuff, get your towel to wipe of the sweat from your fat.'

"'I'm surprised the bike didn't fall from her weight.'

"'How could someone live the kind of life style to were they could get that fat? I just don't understand it.'

"'Omg, look at her legs, they match that elephant I saw at the zoo. Ha-ha! She must be put in a zoo she's so fat.'

"'Look at the way her stomach rolls over! One... two... is that three rolls I see? Ha-ha!'

"And that's how it was. I left the gym out from the back, but not before seeing Puck smile in the background of the people. I cried outside near the garbage cans behind the building. They reeked of people's vomit from working out too hard. My head span and I took another pill.

"The next day at school I reached in my locker for the pills. The bottle was empty. I suddenly had a fear that I would instantly gain back all the weight I had lost in that week in a half. I ran to the bathroom, tears streaming down my face. It felt like I was having a panic attack. Puck saw me and he ran right behind me, asking what was the matter. I told him and he looked at me incredulously.

"'You ate all of them?'

"'Yeah...'

"'You really are a fat Berry, aren't you?'"

I nodded.

"'Rachel, those were forty bucks. I can't get you anymore, at least not until two weeks time. At the least.'

"'What?! I need them now!' I screeched.

"'Here, take these. They're over the counter.'

"'Painkillers?' I questioned.

"'It's a pill isn't it? Just treat it like the weight loss pills, they're a good replacement to make your body think you're taking the previous pills.'

"'But isn't it easy to OD on painkillers?'

"'Sure, but it's not like you've already taken more that you should of the ephedrine's.'

"I nodded and took a pill right there. I already felt better. I continued to take those pills and continued to lose weight. By the time Puck could get me the second set of weight loss pills, I had lost a total of fifteen pounds. I felt good, but not good enough."

Here, Rachel paused and cleared her throat.

"Finn, do you remember the day I passed out in Glee Club?"

He nodded, even though she could not see him.

"I had tried to combine a weight loss pill and the painkillers before walking into that room. I needed the ephedrine's, but I loved the other pills just as much. We were in the middle of singing some LMFAO song as a group, when I just passed out in my chair. An ambulance was called, my dad was called, as was my other dad but he was still in jail from the incident that happened with Blaine and my dad being blamed for hitting me. I was emitted to the hospital and they found the traces of the pills. I was done for. I could no longer take those pills.

"When I woke up, my dad was standing over me and I asked where you were Finn. He told me you had to be somewhere else. He asked me about the pills and I told the truth. The doctor came in and told me what I needed to do and everything. I was to be put on 24/7 watch and miss school for a couple days so that I could be watched. I wasn't listening. I saw Puck outside the door, watching me. He was smiling and shook his head at before mouthing the word, 'Fatty' to me. I hate that word."

The tape stopped with a click.

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><p><strong>I wanted to update the other day, but our internet was shut off from not paying the bill. I swear -.- but, please review! Chapter Ten will be up shortly :)<strong>


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